As I've drifted from blog to blog to see what the heck people write about.... I have dicovered that not alot of people like themselves... for whatever reason... mostly exterior.. but some interior. It makes me a bit sad... no one is perfect, sure I'd love to be thin... maybe taller... natural light hair... white teeth.. smaller boobs .. bigger bum... I mean the list could go on and on. But all and all I feel blessed.... even though my family may be odd we love each other and look out for each other..... I have an amazing man in my life who I fall in love with over and over again each morning when we awake. His family has accepted me for who I am and not who I'm not, and over the last few years I have thought of his family as my own. I have a beautiful healthy daughter and am being blessed with a second child. My friends...... long term or short term have impacted my life only in the positive. I am thankful to be surrounded by such wonderful people who help my life in such a positive way..... daily.
Years ago I thought I'd never be able to make it to a place of contentness. I was always feeling quilty about what I should do or shouldn't do... what people would think if I SAID NO!! I wasn't the kind of person I wanted to be around and I was tired of trying to please everyone.... it wasn't working!! I was running myself down and letting this happen cuz I wouldn't stand up for what I wanted. A dear friend of mine told me about a course she did called the Landmark Forum... So I thought what the heck... it can't make it worse. that course enlightened me.... I saw things in a new way, some how things that use to drive me over the edge now don't effect me at all. Its like I have an automatic filtering system that determines whether I need to do something about it or just "let it be" I also read a great book that was along the same lines as the course called " The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. Speaking of which I should re read it!!
Anyway in the course a guy said something to me that worked for me... it was this...
There was a reporter doing a story on the pressure of umping a major league game he asks three umps how do they handle this pressure having to call a strike
Theres a rookie ump.... an ump thats been in the business a little while and an ump that has been doing it seems like forever.
the rookie ump jumps in and says" its easy I stand behind the plate and as that ball comes in IT IS WHAT I SEE IT TO BE"
the ump in the business for awhile says" You know kid, when I was a rookie ump I thought the same thing the ball WAS WHAT I SAW IT TO BE..... then time went by and now I know standing behind that plate IT JUST IS WHAT IS!"
The ump thats been around forever laughs and says " you know when I was a rookie ump I too thought IT WAS WHAT I SAW IT TO BE.... then time passed and I thought Nope the ball IS WHAT IT IS.... now .... now I know standing behind that plate THAT BALL IS NOTHING TILL I MAKE IT A STRIKE!"
And thats how I view life... if you want to give something meaning that will hurt or harm you it is you who is doing it. If you don't give it meaning.... it means nothing! Whocares about how you THINK someone intended to have it come across.... if you don't give it that meaning it has no effect on you.
So live your life unreasonable....... to live it with reasons is to reason away greater chance of happiness.
I don't know how to explain that.... its like ..... you are always telling yourself reasons of why you shouldn't do something.... like call an old friend to chat but you reason that the time change... the hour it is there... its too late so you don't.... when if you did .... if you would of lived with out reason and they were home you could of had an amazing connection with them at that time. but you let the moment pass and lost out on an exceptional moment.
Or you reason away why you shouldn't go to the gym..... its too late... its too cold... its too far... I've already showered...my hair is done I don't want to do it again.... whatever your reason is... you have now taken away from living a more filling rewarding healthier life because your reasons have become your excuses and you will never get where you want to go if you live reasonable.
I don't know if I was able to get that out the right way.....
Years ago I thought I'd never be able to make it to a place of contentness. I was always feeling quilty about what I should do or shouldn't do... what people would think if I SAID NO!! I wasn't the kind of person I wanted to be around and I was tired of trying to please everyone.... it wasn't working!! I was running myself down and letting this happen cuz I wouldn't stand up for what I wanted. A dear friend of mine told me about a course she did called the Landmark Forum... So I thought what the heck... it can't make it worse. that course enlightened me.... I saw things in a new way, some how things that use to drive me over the edge now don't effect me at all. Its like I have an automatic filtering system that determines whether I need to do something about it or just "let it be" I also read a great book that was along the same lines as the course called " The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. Speaking of which I should re read it!!
Anyway in the course a guy said something to me that worked for me... it was this...
There was a reporter doing a story on the pressure of umping a major league game he asks three umps how do they handle this pressure having to call a strike
Theres a rookie ump.... an ump thats been in the business a little while and an ump that has been doing it seems like forever.
the rookie ump jumps in and says" its easy I stand behind the plate and as that ball comes in IT IS WHAT I SEE IT TO BE"
the ump in the business for awhile says" You know kid, when I was a rookie ump I thought the same thing the ball WAS WHAT I SAW IT TO BE..... then time went by and now I know standing behind that plate IT JUST IS WHAT IS!"
The ump thats been around forever laughs and says " you know when I was a rookie ump I too thought IT WAS WHAT I SAW IT TO BE.... then time passed and I thought Nope the ball IS WHAT IT IS.... now .... now I know standing behind that plate THAT BALL IS NOTHING TILL I MAKE IT A STRIKE!"
And thats how I view life... if you want to give something meaning that will hurt or harm you it is you who is doing it. If you don't give it meaning.... it means nothing! Whocares about how you THINK someone intended to have it come across.... if you don't give it that meaning it has no effect on you.
So live your life unreasonable....... to live it with reasons is to reason away greater chance of happiness.
I don't know how to explain that.... its like ..... you are always telling yourself reasons of why you shouldn't do something.... like call an old friend to chat but you reason that the time change... the hour it is there... its too late so you don't.... when if you did .... if you would of lived with out reason and they were home you could of had an amazing connection with them at that time. but you let the moment pass and lost out on an exceptional moment.
Or you reason away why you shouldn't go to the gym..... its too late... its too cold... its too far... I've already showered...my hair is done I don't want to do it again.... whatever your reason is... you have now taken away from living a more filling rewarding healthier life because your reasons have become your excuses and you will never get where you want to go if you live reasonable.
I don't know if I was able to get that out the right way.....
I heart ya girl! I was feeling very introspective tonight and reading your blog just hit home. You are a blessing and a person i'm lucky to call 'friend'. May the sun shine as brightly in your life as you shine on others. think i'm going to have to check out that book you mentioned too.
Luv ya,
Pen
I need to reread that book again. I'll pick it up tomorrow during the day. There was a moment when I was being affected today by what I was reading. But then like I said I was cooking supper and everything hit home. I, too, am completely content in my life. If the way I am living my life is going to bring me to hell, well...so be it. I wouldn't give this up for anything. You included my friend!!
You two are amazing women and friends... Pen you have such a nice way with words Thank you... Jenny theres no way you are going to hell ... theres times I thimk God sent me a friendship angel in you.