Four little animals
A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life? "
A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want
out of life is four little animals." The teacher asked, "Really, and
what
four little animals would that be dear?"
The little girl said, "A mink on my back,
a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in my bed
and of course, I'll need a jackass to pay for all of it."
The teacher fainted.
Joke #2 Thiss could of been me on the BUS!!!!
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it waslike this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said , 'The Double Mint Twins are Comin' and I grinned." "Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling', and I had to smile. "Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick" and I Could hardly contain myself." "BUT, your Honor, when She moved the fourth Time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it." "CASE DISMISSED!!"
Joke #3
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
MUST READ OUT LOUD
That's not right..........................................Sum Ting Wong
Are you harbouring a fugitive......................Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me ASAP......................................................Kum Hia
Small Horse....................................................Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach...............................Wai Yu So Tan
I think you need a face lift.................................Chin tu Fat
It's very dark in here........................................Wai So Dim
I thought you were on a diet...................Wai Yu Mun Ching
This is a tow away zone..................................No Pah King
Our meeting is scheduled for next week....Wai Yu Kum Nao
Staying out of sight..........................................Lei Ying Lo
He's cleaning his automobile...........................Wa Shing Ka
Your body odour is offensive........................Yo Stin Ki Pu
A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life? "
A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want
out of life is four little animals." The teacher asked, "Really, and
what
four little animals would that be dear?"
The little girl said, "A mink on my back,
a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in my bed
and of course, I'll need a jackass to pay for all of it."
The teacher fainted.
Joke #2 Thiss could of been me on the BUS!!!!
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it waslike this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said , 'The Double Mint Twins are Comin' and I grinned." "Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling', and I had to smile. "Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick" and I Could hardly contain myself." "BUT, your Honor, when She moved the fourth Time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it." "CASE DISMISSED!!"
Joke #3
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
MUST READ OUT LOUD
That's not right..........................................Sum Ting Wong
Are you harbouring a fugitive......................Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me ASAP......................................................Kum Hia
Small Horse....................................................Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach...............................Wai Yu So Tan
I think you need a face lift.................................Chin tu Fat
It's very dark in here........................................Wai So Dim
I thought you were on a diet...................Wai Yu Mun Ching
This is a tow away zone..................................No Pah King
Our meeting is scheduled for next week....Wai Yu Kum Nao
Staying out of sight..........................................Lei Ying Lo
He's cleaning his automobile...........................Wa Shing Ka
Your body odour is offensive........................Yo Stin Ki Pu
Those are all so very funny and the bus one totally cracked me up!!
Every now and again something will be said that makes me think of the Chinese too, always good for a smile.
Pen