Not sure if anyone notice but my lil weight ticker gal has moved down towards the scale!! YIPPIE! in total its only 10 pounds I've lost but you gotta start some where. I spent the entire other day re arranging my computer room so I could set up my treadmill. Now I just gotta get dougie to figure out what stuff we still need, we have more computer cds than we know what to do with. I swear I still own windows 97 disc!! But thats HIS domain so I don't want to get rid of anything I'm not suppose to.

Today I have an apointment to talk with a dietician......Generally I think I eat pretty healthy. I don't love chocolate like some girlfriends...(cough Jenny) But I do like my salt and butter mostly on popcorn...thats my weakness. so is fresh home made bread but seeing how both Doug and I don't make home made bread thats not a problem in our house. I think the number one contributing fat factor for me is our late nite movie watching snacking!! Not thats its all the time but its enough that my scle has seen no movement in either direction!! So I figure a lil chat with the dietician will help me maybe get a better idea of what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong. Sometime today too I have to figure out my work shifts for the bootcamp session to see if I'm off enough of them to register!! Anyway gotta run apointments in 20 mins!!!

Can you say OUCH!!! So as you know I went to boot camp on Tues, it wasn't that bad. Yesterday I wasn't really sore...today!! MY ankles are killing me!! Of all places to feel the BURN...My ankles?? whats up with that? I think its from all the quick step side movements. My back was a lil tight tonite but not bad! So Tues we had 25 people at boot camp and tonite there was 14 of us (me thinks she scared a few!!!)......tonite we did ALOT of ab stuff so if you don't hear from me tomorrow then I was unable to sit up to get out of bed!! I know its not a big deal but today there was a huge bowl of tootsie rolls in front of me and I didn't have even one ( mind you I don't care for them much...but that wouldn't of stopped me before!) So I'm giving myself a lil pat on the back for today!! Yeah for me!!

Okay today was day one of making my way back to a THINNER healthier me!! I must be held accountable for this sooooooo I am posting my weight and I added a weightloss ticker so I can keep track and be reminded of HOPEFULLY my success along the way!! Today was my first day at bootcamp! and though I was winded it wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I did it!! SUCKING wind...but I did it none the less! its a start! I weighed in there tonite and I was 207.6 pounds!! Doug is 2 1/2 pounds heavier than me!! That in itself scares me! I am a big girl ....I will never be THIN but I wanna be healthy for me, my kids and my hunny! I wanna feel sexy again! so my goal is to loose as much as 63 pounds!! that would bring me to 145 pounds and that for me would be perfect!! It would be nice to be a constant size 9 or 11. The funny thing is when I weighed that I thought I was FAT....and now I'm wanting to weigh what I was when I thought I was fat!!! LOL does this make any sense?

I have joined a weightloss blog... its rather nice to go in there and read peoples stories... and its nice to get that unconditional support from women who understand what you are going through... women who are at the same cross road as you.
I know I'm overweight.... I need to loose the weight of a small child!! that makes me think!!!
My problem is I love food... the smell, the taste, I just don't know when to stop eating....I don't get full... I'm not always hungry when I eat.. but my problem is I don't know when to stop. I out eat Doug EASILY....You know when you eat and eat and eat and you say oh I'm so full I can't eat another thing... that, that doesn't happen to me. My mind tallys what I ate and says Ok... you've had four pieces of pizza, 6 garlic sticks, a plate of salad and a dessert pizza... don't you think you've had enough???? But really I could sit there all day and eat... and not get full. I just wish my mind tally would tally earlier than it does....I wish I knew what it was to feel full!
I'll eat something even if I'm not crazy for it... cuz I think thats a waist if I throw it out.... or I'm spending money on that dinner, I better get my monies worth. Thats from my mom... when I was little, we didn't have much money and I knew what food she put out she worked hard for. But now we make good money but I still think that way.... I need to break that habit.